expectations are premeditated resentments

Think about it, when we expect someone to show up or do something a certain way, we have potentially set ourselves up for disappointment and resentment. This is particularly true when we expect others to read our minds, instead of verbalizing our desires.

I will use one of my favorite examples, my birthdays. Yes, birthdays; not just one, but many.

I can’t imagine a better day to feel sorry for myself than on my birthday. It is a day that is suppose to be all about ME, right? I have been known to set the bar of my expectations so high that it was almost impossible for anyone in my life to meet them. Between the loving expressions actually given and what I was secretly expecting, there was always room for disappointment and resentment. I don’t know, maybe I was waiting for someone to build a throne and make me Queen for a Day. Talk about a royal pain!

My mom was wonderful at birthdays. She let us choose what she cooked for dinner and we didn’t have to do any chores. I mean any, including making our beds, which was a daily requirement. She started and ended the day honoring each of us on our birthdays. I just expected everyone else in my life to follow suit. Yes, I did the same for my children, which makes it hard for them not to have expectations in their relationships.

The only thing I would change is my expectations. I so looked forward to my birthday and being treated so well. I so enjoyed creating special days for my boys.

We have the power to ask for what we want and create our experiences. My birthdays are better than EVER!

Gratitude and resentment cannot reside in the same space.

Today, I pray we lay down any and all expectations that might lead to resentment and choose to love and accept each other just the way we are.